Agent T (Mission: Machu Picchu)

One Dr Matthew Haserbrough boarded the 7:00am train for Machu Picchu on the 16th of August, 2007. Our hero had assumed an alias to complete a mission that everyone had told him was impossible. Several backpackers along the way said that there was not enough time on the trip to go to Machu Picchu, wonder of the world. Travel agents insisted that trains were completely full for the next several weeks. There was no way… for ordinary folk.
As it was, Agent T was patiently sitting on the train that would take him to the pride city of the Inca. The ticket had been purchased under a false id. It was the best way to get things done. And, all seemed to be going according to plan. However, some irate lady demanded the seat in which our hero was sitting.
¨Seat 5, that´s mine! And 6 too!¨ griped the lady.
T made the error, a very rare event in his career, of assuming the agency had not messed up and given him a good ticket. He gave a look of dubiety before moving to an adjacent empty seat. This look was enough to alert officials.
¨Mr…¨
¨DOCTOR¨
¨Uh, yes, Dr. Matthew Haas…¨
¨Dr. Hay-sir-bro. This is he. What seems to be the problem?¨
¨Your ticket is no good. You must leave.¨ With this our hero was escorted off the train by two suspiciously buff train officials.
T had exactly 4 minutes before the train would depart. He acted quickly and calmly. To the front desk. ¨I need this ticket changed. I want today´s train, but the people I bought it from made a mistake and put the 18th as the date instead of the 16th¨
¨This ticket is no good,¨pointed out the offical.
¨Right, hence me wanting to change it.¨
¨Can´t. The train is full¨
¨No it isn´t. There are plenty of open seats. ¨
¨But this ticket is no good.¨
¨arrrgh. Can I stand on the train if I purchase another ticket?¨
¨No. Your ticket is no good. The train is full.¨
Our hero had encountered a professional putts. His powers of evil were too great for T to overcome in such a short time. So, T took off from the incorrectly titled HELP DESK for the train platform with the intention of jumping onto the back and hitching a ride. An armed guard and a bulletproof glass wall stood in T´s way. T reached for his tranquiller gun/watch but found the agency had not installed that feature as they said they would. T´s trustful nature had again caused problems.
Agent T hired a taxi to take him to the main station. Evil plots were out to foil T; the computer system was down. The offical said that there was nothing he could do. The agency had purchased the ticket and would they would have to request changes. Off to the agency.
At the drop off point, the cabby asked for 15 soles. T gave the man a 20. The cabby fumbled in his pockets and could not produce change. This was ok. The cabby had been too prying so T had given him a bill bomb to keep information secret.
The agency was closed. It was only 8am. T went for breakfast at a quaint bakery.
¨This crossiant was excellent!¨exclaimed T. BOOOOM!!!
¨What was that?¨asked the baker.
¨I said the crossiant was excellent.¨
¨No. It sounded like a taxi just exploded¨
¨Oh I didn´t hear anything,¨stated T as he paid and left.

8:50am The agnecy had just opened and T walked in. The ladies working the officepaid him no attention because offical hours started at 9. T ripped a phone booth off the wall and chucked it in the general direction of the workers. ¨You guys fouled up! I could have been killed!¨ he said as he gave an icy blue eyed stare that would cause readers remarkable pain should it be described in detail.
¨oh, sorry.¨
¨Get me a ticket for today.¨
¨That is impossible. How is 2 days from now?¨
¨I said TODAY! Even the rookie got on today successfully.¨ It was true, Rookie Bone had managed to get on the 7am train using the alias of Victor.
¨OK Agent T. Will will do our best.¨ With that 3 ladies began to arrange for travel to make the mission possible.
T left for a cool down walk.

9:31am: ¨Agent T?¨ asked a cab driver.
¨Yes¨
¨Get in.¨

11:13am: Agent T assumed another alias: Tedy Miycher. He checked the tickets closely before sending the driver away. These tickets were good for the 12:10pm train. This was acceptable.

12:11pm T was being challenged to overcome the torture of utter boredom of the Backpacker train half full of senior citizens. The other half of the train was empty. The torture would last another 2 hours.

2:45pm At the gates of Machu Picchu our hero is met by his inside man, posing as a tour guide. ¨We have been looking everywhere for you. The rookie has been crying all day. Where have you been?¨
¨The agency messed up… big time.¨

The inside man showed T around for a bit and gave up some valuable information. Then T was left on his own to complete his mission in only 28 minutes.
He took a piece of artifact to sell to informants for information for future missions. Stole some sacred coca leaves. Took recon photos of the area. Then T ran down the many many steps of the city to catch the train the rookie would board.
The distraught Agentwannabe Bone was found just where T knew he would be: The nearest internet place that served coffee.
¨Where have you been?¨
¨Nevermind. I need to change my ticket.¨

4:50pm At the ticket booth T was trying to get a ticket changed from 8:30 to 5:00. Just ahead of him a young lady was in a panic because she had lost her wallet and needed time to find it. She wanted the 8:30 train.
¨sorry Tedy, the 5 train is full. Sorry miss. The 8:30 train is full.¨
¨Just change our tickets,¨ T suggested.
¨Can´t the trains are full¨
¨You moron. She isn´t on the train, thus a seat is open.¨
Seeing this flawless logic the offical could do nothing other than… walk away into a secured area until the 5 train rolled away.

5:02 pm ¨Can I help you?¨asked the smirking offical.
¨Yes, give this lady a ticket for the 8:30¨
The offical changed the ticket, but refused to change the lady´s ticket for travel from the end station to her hotel.
¨Here¨T said as he handed the lady a 20soles bill. ¨This will get you a cab from the station to your hotel¨
¨And here is a tip for you sir,¨T said as he handed over an odd looking 10 bill to the offical and walked away quickly.

¨You didn´t have to do that¨ the lady stated.
¨It was nothing¨ BOOOOM!
¨What was that?¨
¨I said, It was nothing.¨
¨No, it sounded like a train offical just exploded in the comfort of his own office!¨
¨oh, I didn´t hear anything¨ T then left for a quiet supper.

Our hero would board the train and arrive at his latest hotel having accomplished what many thought to be impossible or at least highly improbable. Those people can be forgiven though; They did not realize that our main character, the much beloved Agent T, is a pro among the pros.

Stay tuned for future stories from the current country, Bolivia.

(Stolen from Agent T’s diary)

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